I know I’ve been MIA for the last last month and a half. I was surprised how many emails I got asking for updates. To my faithful readers, thanks.
I’ve since been sent to run a camp in New Sudan. I’m like the GM. I think the execs wanna see if I got chops, or if I’m just a good talker. While I am a good talker, I also have chops.
But this place is insane. Absolutely crazy. Everything is a big problem, and nothing is accomplished easy. There is so much on plate I can barely get to sleep. Strangely enough, I am really enjoying it: It’s fun being the boss again. I wish I had the to do a full narrative abounding alliteration, allusions, and similies, precisely parlaying my prodigious parlance. But I’ve got a hotel to run. So while you might not hear from me very much in the coming month or so, at least now you’ll know why. Here’s a few numbers from my first 10 days:
Tents: 70
Rooms: 22
Occupancy: 88%
Employees: 100 give or take a few day laborers
People fired: 2
People hired: 5
Out of the number hired, how many were truck drivers who never showed up again: 3
Fights between staff: 1
Fights between staff involving one person hitting another with a pole: 1
Security breaches: 1
Employees attacked and severely beaten in the middle of the night at another camp: 1
Interviews with the Juba Post: 1
Interviews with the Juba Post where I didn’t sound like a blathering idiot: 0
Number of Letters sent to the Ministry of Labour Somethingorother: 6
Minutes of the Superbowl actually viewed: 4-6
Epileptic seizures (not mine): 1
Former student activists/freedom fighters from Bangladesh who happen to be mechanical engineers and super cool: 1
Persons detained at the airport and subsequently deported: 1
Empty and ambiguous threats on my general well being: 2
Water pipes busted: 3
Employees disciplined: innumerable
Employees named ‘Louis Lui:’ 1
Number of Employees named Ipee: 1
Number of letters differing the end Ipee’s last name from ‘Freely:’ 4
Weight in kilos of new water filtration system: 2200
Trees to which the new water filtration system was tied: 1
Diesel drums onto which the new water filtration system, tied to a tree, dropped as the truck pulled away: 4
Cinderblocks to support diesel drums on uneven soil: 8
New water filtration systems destroyed in this ingenious process: 0
Abdul’s U-Rent-it Forklifts’ years of operation here: -2
Ladies who came in the office to meet me, impressed to see me doing a white glove test on a chair in a bar on the dusty banks of the Nile: 3
Acronymous organizations I deal with on a daily basis: 10
Acronymous organizations I deal with whose name’s meaning/origins are a complete mystery: 8
Former US presidents hosted: 1
Roughly averaged, hours of sleep/night: 5
Posted by heartodarkness 
